Being completely consumed and overwhelmed by wedding thoughts, that is.
Apparently engagement angst and wedding related loss of personality is going around. this weekend i found out through this post by Practical Wedding blogger Meg and this one by 2000 Dollar Wedding Guru, Sara that i am not alone.
Turns out that for the past few months nearly all of my thoughts turn to wedding details or wedding related issues. nearly half of my convos revolve around this stuff... i mean, when MY half of the convo is spent talking about wedding stuff? really? I have diverse interests.. i'm not boring! I don't have a one-track mind! but these days it seems like it.
and i'm completely disgusted with myself.
i mean, i started blogging about the wedding and marriage plans BECAUSE i didn't want it to dominate my real conversations... if I was spewing it out online, then i wouldn't feel a need to share it or be "the friend who only talks about weddings"
i promise, there are LOTS of other things going on in my life... i'm working on a really exciting thesis proposal, raising money and awareness for DV with Februhairy, reading really thought provoking books, and trying to get a rad job for next year... not to mention that fact that I watch house, the office, and 30 rock like a fiend.
but somehow i always end up talking about wedding stuff (this is not to be confused with marriage stuff). part of this is because people ask about wedding stuff... how the planning is going, am i nervous, etc. why can't they ask about marriage stuff? or other life stuff?
sometimes i don't bite the bait since I know people are just being polite and want to make conversations. This is fine with me and usually i can steer the conversation to something i know they care about more than my silly wedding plans.... you know: march madness or a funny news story, a question about their life
but when my close friends ask i usually totally spill all of my anxiety or excitement on them.
The thing is, you have no idea how good it feels to be able to talk about all this junk with the people who know you the best. BUT this is a REALLY bad and sort of unhealthy way to relate to the people you love the most.
so as my Lenten resolution, I'm working on finding a balance with the need to vent with the need to be me. this probably means that i'll talk about wedding stuff with my mom and through this blog... and then if someone really, REALLY, for real wants to know.
photo found via victoria with the roses