Wednesday, February 25, 2009

wit...er... white.

i love irony, and stephen colbert, and outdoor performance clothes.
not to mention 80s night, microbreweries, standing still at concerts, difficult breakups, recycling, public radio, wes anderson movies, and going outside.
now, the folks from stuff white people like have done it again... of COURSE I have moleskin notebooks! SHOOT!

after reading this one i wondered, "just how white AM i?"
let me state for the record that I'm 83 out of 122 posts white. i invite you to gage your own white-ness by counting here how many things YOU like. post them in a comment so i know at what end of the spectrum i fall. ( because right now i feel casper-the-friendly-ghost-nearly-transparent-white...)

moleskine_pocket_plain_notebookSince all white people consider themselves to be “creative,” they are constantly in need of products and accessories that will allow them to capture their thoughts. One of the more popular products in recent years has been the Moleskine notebook.
This particular type of notebook is very expensive and was quite popular with writers and artists in the olden days. Needless to say, these are two properties that are highly coveted in the white community. In fact, it’s a good rule of thumb to know that white people like anything that old writers and artists liked: typewriters, journals, suicide, heroin, and trains are just a few examples.
Much like virtually everything else that white people like, these notebooks are considerably more expensive yet provide no additional functionality over regular notebooks that cost a dollar. Thankfully, since white people only keep their most original and creative ideas in the Moleskine, many of them will only be required to purchase one per lifetime.
But the the growing popularity of these little journals, is not without its own set of problems. One of the strangest side effects has been the puzzling situation whereby a white person will sit in an independent coffee shop with a Moleskine notebook resting on top of a Apple laptop. You might wonder why they need so many devices to write down thoughts? Well, if a white person has a great idea, they write it by hand, if they have a good idea, it goes into the computer.
Not only does this help them keep their thoughts organized, but it serves as a signal to the other white people in the shop that the owner of both instruments is truly creative. It screams: “I’m not using my computer to check email and read celebrity gossip, I’m using it to create art. Please ask me about it.”
So when you see a white person with one of these notebooks, you should always ask them about what sort of projects they are working on their free time. But you should never ask to actually see the notebook lest you ask the question “how are you going to make a novel out of five phone numbers and a grocery list?”

6 comments:

Jen said...

crap! i got 84! i am white than you :(
i think #123 should be 'being nailed by stuff white people like.'

Carli said...

Shoot! I got 87, and many of them should probably count twice because I love them so much. For example: wine, coffee, dogs, musical comedy, ugly sweater parties, Arrested Development (and I named my aforementioned beloved dog "Maeby"), not to mention that I gave my husband a moleskine notebook for our anniversary, which I bought while in San Francisco... Think I'll fit in at Grady next year?

brett.h.harris said...

guess who's whiter..whitter...more caucasian than all of you? me. 92 out 123. take that suckas! i always thought i was prety white, but it kind of hurts to be confronted with it like this. oh well.

Biz said...

wait... I'm not as white as I thought? this is weird.

Craig said...

i was 98, and i was even trying to get a low score. i honestly thought i'd end up way lower than the rest of you b/c i'm more like an old man, than a young, hip white person.

israel said...

96.
I'm white.
no denying it.
We actually have the print edition of SWPL in our home.